One thing that the madness of the last year has shown us again and again is the importance of our own domain – our family, our friends, and our homes. Through crazy neighbors with political signs and virtue signaling, then fighting about who is more virtuous (yes, lots of irony here), we found ourselves digging deeper and deeper into our domain. Our gardens, workshops, garage gyms – all allow us to express ourselves, think, grow, and enjoy some peace and quiet.
One thing that is vital to me in my domain, is my morning book with a nice massive cup of coffee and heavy cream (grass-fed of course). This month, I was referred the book, Walls: A History of Civilization in Blood and Brick by David Frye. The book, which is well worth a read, went through the history of the world via the building of walls. Frye thoroughly discussed the rationale for walls, the benefits, and the downfalls. What became abundantly clear to me was how our daily life requires our own calculated building and maintenance of walls, some to keep things in, and others to keep things out. Walls also help to support things from coming crashing down.
A wall at the prior Champ compound (our stone house that we restored) which helped support the hillside.
After reading the enjoyable book, Walls, I realized how important walls are in our lives. Not necessarily for protection, but rather for keeping unwanted threats to our wellbeing out, to both support us and provide us the means to stay healthy (and sane). These are not necessarily physical walls, and are more often figuratively. We have a giant wall around our house that does not let in the news and media and their constant negative message promoting anxiety, unrest, and other messages that thrive by poking us repeatedly to incite us, and keep us coming back for more like an addictive drug. This forcefield we have set up is also uncanny at blocking politics and the mind-numbing negative messaging that seem to always accompany politics. With Aurelia running around these days and absorbing everything like a sponge, these walls are even more important.
For example, I am not sure when exactly the tabloids at the checkout area of the grocery store officially morphed into our major news sources, but the constant beratement of individuals, gossip, and idolization of celebrities is not what we want our daughter (or our brains) exposed to, as the constant battering of negativity is sure to have detrimental effects on us. We are not impervious to these detrimental effects, no matter how intelligent or disciplined we think we are. If invited in, sooner or later, they will start to pick at our brains, slowly driving us mad.
It may not be necessary, but it takes a lot of arete to prune vines and flowers to cover your wall in Montalcino, but it certainly is nice and fare bella figura (and may help conquer a little ugliness in the world).
Juli reminded me – after we had to have “a talk” – that achieving mental health and reading major news sources are absolutely incompatible, and the negativity around our daughter was starting to show. I think I am an extremely disciplined person, but I have found this pervasive negativism impossible to stop from entering with shear willpower, so I built a nice little wall to keep it out. Resiliency requires some walls, no matter how small. Much like my sweet tooth, I realize my weak spots and therefore fortify them. Covid pulled me back into the news, my mental health suffered, and I now have built a nice little wall protecting me and my brain from it.
These walls, of course, need to be porous enough to let in the good, but strong enough to keep out the bad. Walls also need constant reinforcement and repair. This is where we get caught. We think we can simply throw up a way and be done forever. Walls, like all things in our lives, need constantly assessed. Even walls need nurtured. (As a side note, building actual physical walls is a therapeutic and meditative-like activity that is extremely rewarding, especially when completing a beautiful stone wall.) In the short, but great, Churchill, Paul Johnson describes at length how Churchill utilized his hobby of wall building as a means to mentally get through the physical and psychological devastation of World War II.
What walls need built up in your life and which ones need torn down? I invite you to think about these questions this month, and the role of walls in your life.
Spring Advice:
1. Grow a garden (even if you fail, it will be worthwhile). Get the seedlings ready a couple weeks after the last frost and get your garden ready, whether it is only pots, a raised bed, or the real deal. I really like seed from Johnny’s Select Seeds as they are high quality.
- Buy a jump rope immediately. This is the easiest way to intersperse your day with intense activity (especially if you are too chicken to sprint or don’t have the space). You need little space to do this and even if your porch is tiny, it can likely accommodate a jump rope session. I recently bought a pricy one that immediately broke, but have been happy with this much cheaper speed rope (also made in the USA!)
- Get a weighted vest: Struggling for space and doing body-weight exercises? Add some weight. I have a very heavy vest that has turned some of our basic movements into difficult exercises without having to purchase extra weights. VMAX has some decent options made in the USA as well.
- If you struggle with eating too much but shop at bulk food suppliers because it’s convenient, it is time to dig deep and change your mindset and approach
- Stop saying “I tried to” or “wanted to” when it comes to your food, activities, and your health and instead do it.
- If you don’t yearn to lift heavy things, get your heart rate up, get outside, or feel totally fatigued by an activity (+/- dread exercise) it is time to dig deep and change your mindset and approach
- If you find yourself answering “because it’s convenient” it is time to dig deep and change your mindset and approach
Avoiding Convenience and Gaining Motivation
Unfortunately, I have come to realize just how much being healthier and making healthy decisions comes down to motivation. It goes far beyond learning and knowing (and the motivation to learn more) but also implementing what we know. This is where we often fall flat on our faces. We can refuse to acknowledge new information, or refuse to question our actions, or lie to ourselves. However, these all come down to one factor: motivation. Motivation to do what is right, motivation to act, motivation to do.
This month, ask yourself how many times you use the phrases “I wanted to” or “I tried to” and how often you do something because it is convenient. Now try to eliminate all three of these. Do not try and want, do. Juli and I have the constant goal of avoiding most things that exist for pure convenience, as most often we have found these are traps that can derail our food choices and activities. Convenience leads to trying and wanting, instead of doing. Have you ever taken the escalator at the airport and then used the treadmill or stair climber at your hotel? That is convenience at its fullest, and it often leads to nonsensical behaviors like this.
Avoid convenience. Purposely do things that are difficult. Both make simple things much more meaningful.
Turn brainless activities into exercise. Cutting the grass, washing your car, tending your garden, growing your food: all potential opportunities to get outside and move (also to embrace discomfort).
Pulling weeds, planting vegetables, building a stone wall: all opportunities to increase your mobility, get down on the ground, and get stronger, while giving your brain a period to relax and take it all in.
Convenience erases these moments. Convenience takes exercise and therapy for our bodies and brains and replaces it with nothingness, with TV watching, and swaps out benefit for detriment. Convenience kills motivation.
Start eliminating conveniences and watch your motivation grow.
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