I had a hectic month this month, but made time one day to scoot out of work early and meet the girls for a walk. The weather was perfect and Aurelia had her pink flamingo shirt on, so she was ready to roll. Before we even made it out of our driveway, our neighbor Rich saw us and ran over to say hello. This turned into him helping us plant a couple plants and move dirt. He then borrowed my wheelbarrow and challenged me to a game a ping pong. We then walked into town, where I stopped at the bank to cash a check. The teller, who I see every time I go in there lit up before exclaiming, “great to see you on this beautiful day!”
On our walk home, we passed several other neighbors who stopped and talked to us. Juli asked a couple who was doing work in their yard about a tree that they own and she likes. It was a southwest elephant ear. As we walked further, we began talking about the bank teller. Juli said his father died recently, and he told her that going to work helped him get through it since everyone in town goes in there and speaks with him. He said it made him realize he was a big part of the community and everyone cared for him.
We are lucky—a simple one-hour walk lit up our entire month. It was like a therapy session for the soul, while we walked through beautiful neighborhoods and reinforced the fact that we are part of a community. Yet, what if you don’t have neighbors stopping over to help you in the yard and challenge you to ping pong?
What if you don’t walk to any bank and merely cash all your checks through your bank app. What if you don’t have an area to walk places, whether to the store, a coffee shop, church, school, or even just the ability to take a daily stroll?
What if you don’t even have a community to feel part of? What if you don’t even leave the house much besides getting into your car? Do you feel comforted when a family member passes away, like the bank teller, or do you feel lost, depressed, and lonely? Worse yet, do you get angry? If you are a teenager and lack all of these social connections do you feel even worse or more confused at a time in your life when things are bizarre as is? Furthermore, do you get diabetes at a young age, have mental issues, lack social connection, or worse yet, take it out on other people? When we add the anxiety and anger-producing effects of cell phones and social media, how much worse does it get?
Traditional communities throughout the world knew the answer to these questions. It is why events like the Procession of Our Lady of the Visitation, where barefoot locals in Enna, Sicily, carry a heavy statue of Mary through town paying homage to an episode in the past. They have been doing this every year since 1412, binding the present to the past, and also showing the townspeople that it is important to come together, reminding them that times were not always as plentiful as they are in the present.
Photo from Nuovo Amico
Or even better is the Madonna delle Grazie in Pesaro, where in 1481 the Servi di Maria were building a church and convent on land donated by Costanzo Sforza to hold a famous painting of Mary. The church ended up burning down and the painting was redone by painter from the nearby town of Fano. Years later in 1855, plague struck the town and the painting was moved to St. Francis street where they were praying for help. Shortly after the plague resolved, and now, every year since, the town comes together to celebrate the Madonna delle Grazie on the third Sunday of October.
Similar festivals take place all throughout Italy. We have witnessed several of these festivals, and the palpable feel of community is impossible to ignore or resist.
In our society we love to turn simple solutions into complex academic problems, but I think the answer to these questions are easy ones. Providing a sense of community is vital for our physical and mental health. The more we push away, the more we can expect to worsen. It is not too late to turn back to our communities, but we have to create beautiful communities that we want to turn back to.
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